Sunday, November 6, 2016

The Untrustworthy Speaker by Louise Gluck

Don’t listen to me; my heart’s been broken. 
I don’t see anything objectively. 

I know myself; I’ve learned to hear like a psychiatrist. 
When I speak passionately, 
that’s when I’m least to be trusted. 

It’s very sad, really: all my life, I’ve been praised 
for my intelligence, my powers of language, of insight. 
In the end, they’re wasted— 

I never see myself, 
standing on the front steps, holding my sister’s hand. 
That’s why I can’t account 
for the bruises on her arm, where the sleeve ends. 

In my own mind, I’m invisible: that’s why I’m dangerous. 
People like me, who seem selfless, 
we’re the cripples, the liars; 
we’re the ones who should be factored out 
in the interest of truth. 

When I’m quiet, that’s when the truth emerges. 
A clear sky, the clouds like white fibers. 
Underneath, a little gray house, the azaleas 
red and bright pink. 

If you want the truth, you have to close yourself 
to the older daughter, block her out: 
when a living thing is hurt like that, 
in its deepest workings, 
all function is altered. 

That’s why I’m not to be trusted. 
Because a wound to the heart 
is also a wound to the mind.