Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Our Illusions About Others by Anthony de Mello



"So if you stop to think, you would see that there’s nothing to be very proud of after all. What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about? A young man came to me to complain that his girlfriend had let him down, that she had played false. What are you complaining about? Did you expect any better?  Expect the worst, you’re dealing with selfish people. You’re the idiot- you glorified her, didn’t you? You thought she was a princess, you thought people were nice.  They’re not! They’re not nice. They’re as bad as you are- bad, you understand?  They’re asleep like you. And what do you think they are going to seek? Their own self-interest, exactly like you. No difference. Can you imagine how liberating it is that you’ll never be disillusioned again, never be disappointed again? You’ll never feel let down again. Never feel rejected. Want to wake up? You want happiness?  You want freedom? Here it is: Drop your false ideas. See through people. If you see through yourself, you will see through everyone. Then you will love them. Otherwise you spend the whole time grappling with your wrong notions of them, with your illusions that are constantly crashing against reality. 

It’s probably too startling for many of you to understand. That everyone except the very rare awakened person can be expected to be selfish and to seek his or her self-interest whether in coarse or in refined ways. This leads you to see that there's nothing to be disappointed about, nothing to be disillusioned about. If you had been in touch with reality all along, you would never have been disappointed.  But you chose to paint people in glowing colors, you chose not to see through human beings because you chose not to see through yourself. So you’re paying the price now.”