Saturday, May 20, 2017

The Way to Keep Going in Antarctica by Bernadette Mayer

Be strong Bernadette 
Nobody will ever know 
I came here for a reason 
Perhaps there is a life here 
Of not being afraid of your own heart beating 
Do not be afraid of your own heart beating 
Look at very small things with your eyes 
& stay warm 
Nothing outside can cure you but everything's outside 
There is great shame for the world in knowing 
You may have gone this far 
Perhaps this is why you love the presence of other people so much 
Perhaps this is why you wait so impatiently 
You have nothing more to teach 
Until there is no more panic at the knowledge of your own real existence 
& then only special childish laughter to be shown 
& no more lies no more 
Not to find you no 
More coming back & more returning 
Southern journey 
Small things & not my own debris 
Something to fight against 
& we are all very fluent about ourselves 
Our own ideas of food, a Wild sauce 
There's not much point in its being over: but we do not speak them: 
I had written: "the man who sewed his soles back on his feet" 
And then I panicked most at the sound of what the wind could do 
               to me 
       if I crawled back to the house, two feet give no position, if 
       the branches cracked over my head & their threatening me, if I 
       covered my face with beer & sweated till you returned 
If I suffered what else could I do