Do I have USE ME tattooed on my forehead in invisible ink that's only visible to users and abusers?
Why do I have such horrendous luck with people?
Why do I allow greedy people to take advantage of me repeatedly?
What is it about me that brings out the absolute worst in people?
Why does going above and beyond for my nearest and dearest get taken for granted to the point where I am expected to give beyond reason?
Why do I end up becoming friends with people who take and take and take every last drop they can use until I’m wrung out?
What is it about these miserly, opportunistic fucks who take what they would NEVER give with more entitlement and impunity than most anyone who knows them would believe?
Why do I befriend so many master manipulators and actors who have managed to pull the wool over the eyes of most of the dumb motherfuckers they call friends? Or is it that I recognize their highs as well as how low they can go, but hope wholeheartedly they won’t go so low with me; only to find they go even lower bc they recognize they can get away with doing things to me they would never dream of doing to anyone else bc they can take advantage of negative narratives about me and use me to justify doing the wrong thing?
Why do I befriend cowardly people who puss out and don't have the integrity or decency to have an honest and direct conversation when there's major to minor conflict, and/or use said conflict as an excuse to bow out of any semblance of reciprocity when I need a modicum level of support?
Why is it that people don't recognize that I need compassion and a helping hand from time to time? Or is it that they never gave a shit about me or considered me a friend at all? Is it really that they were only there to take everything I had to give?
Maybe all these failed relationships were a series of unfortunate trauma bonding incidents between interim members of the lonely hearts club, who keep circling thru a revolving door for refusing to learn lessons we should’ve figured out by now?
Maybe I need to find solace in failing better as I grow older.
🪷Use me properly🪷
